When I originally wrote this post (published June 12, 2017), Matt and I were just about to get married and had been long-distance for a good portion of our one and a half year relationship. Turns out our long-distance dating practices helped us when we chose to be in a long-distance marriage for three months last summer. So there’s some fresh ideas to add here. Plus now, in the middle of a pandemic, long-distance relationships are a little more common – whether with a partner, family or friends. I hope the list below will be fun activities to do with anyone you care about – maybe even if you’re stuck to the house or if you’re just looking at the other person through a screen like this (hopefully not asleep):

Either way, long distance dates can actually be a good thing. It forced us to think out of the box a lot more and be creative with the limitations we had.

notes about “date night”

Be consistent – choose one night a week that works for you and stick to that
Trade off! It can be tiring to plan a good date night every week, so take turns
Make it memorable – try to do something fun and meaningful, and above all, be intentional

UNIQUE resources

Get outside the confines of your room – send Marco Polo messages to each other: the videos can be any length of time, and they don't disappear. We were able to see each of our lives outside of the house. It felt really nice to step into their world, even if only for a moment
Sometimes our dates were just as simple as watching a movie together&apart — picking a movie on Netflix and timing it to start at the same time. We got really good at this, especially the countdown to hitting the play button
Include 800 questions as part of your date nights – good conversation starters
Or try the "Q&A a Day: 3–Year Journal for 2 People." – it's been a fun activity at the end of each day to ask each other the same question. This has been fun to see previous answers as we go through each day for the past couple years
Write notes to each other on a virtual post-it cork board
This blog has over 100 ideas! I was inspired by a lot of them
Nintendo Switch is a great resource for playing online games together

Creative dates

(in more detail below)

Past, Present & Future

I researched some ideas for this one and combined it into a sort of “themed” date night (I find it easier to make something themed to get ideas).

Past

We played the game 2 truths and a lie where you tell three things about yourself and make one of them a lie and get the other person to guess which one it is. Then we looked up the big events the years we were born.

Present

We did the question book (caught up on the days we missed) and then carved our initials in a virtual tree (it’s eco-friendly too!). And then took a personality test (there’s lots – enneagrams are popular right now).

Future

We ran out of time to do the future part, but I had some fun ideas. One was creating some joint Pinterest boards with things like “future house” etc. Lastly, I thought it would be funny to morph our faces to see what our future child could look like (this one is probably dependent on how comfortable you are with each other haha).

Read a book together

Reading a book together is honestly really fun. We read the Harry Potter series and after we completed a book, we would also watch the movie right after – then went to Harry Potter World after we’d read and watched them all! It doesn’t need to be that extreme, but just having something shared is fun. For date night you can incorporate reading the book to each other and pick one that has a movie associated with it. We also read it on long road trips.

Powerpoint presentation

This was inspired by one of Matt’s friends who hosted a friend group Powerpoint presentation night. Although this was in person, it is perfect for a long-distance date (and if you don’t have Powerpoint, Google slides works too!). Each person picks a topic they’re excited about sharing and puts a presentation together for the other person. I did an informational presentation on a recent book I read, and Matt did a persuasive presentation about why it’s worth learning to drive a car with a manual transmission.

bob ross paint night

To be honest, I’ve only done this in person, but I think this would be such a perfect long-distance date night. Bob Ross was a painter and had a show called “The Joy of Painting” which follows step by step instructions for painting various landscapes. Of course, we can’t all be Bob Ross, but it’s pretty fun to try and follow the steps and see how each of your results are so different.

via GIPHY

Plan/take a trip

There are many virtual travel options right now, but we did this back in 2017 (pre-Covid) so this is how I did it back then. (Also, just because we might not be able to travel right now doesn’t mean we can’t plan for a future trip as a beacon of hope right?)

I sent an email to Matt in the morning with a surprise boarding pass ticket attached:

“Congrats! You’re a winner! Get ready to see part of the world together! Start thinking of a choice destination you want to go to for the day. And keep checking your email for further instruction"

The second email included a link to this geo-message, and a plan for choosing the destination:

Congratulations again on winning this virtual trip!

Your trip has been delayed to 10am MST due to unexpected weather difficulties and waking up difficulties.

Please respond to this message with the following:

Chosen destination
Ten items you would take with you if you only had ten minutes to pack
Bonus:

Once you finish the download, create a stickman story.

His response:

Destination: Honolulu, Hawaii

To Bring:

Maddie
Sandals
My old Book of Mormon so we can read
Backpacking backpack w/supplies
Hammock (camp on the beach!)
Water Bottles
Bill Gate's debit card
MacBook (to watch movies)
Oh yah, clothes
Tissues (it's gonna be so beautiful I'll probably cry)

There ya go!

Flight activity

This is where we started those 800 questions. On an imaginary 6+ hour flight.

On the trip

To create the trip, we used resources like Google Earth, Earth Album, 360 cities, and just looked up and talked about the things we would do. Using Google Earth, after we had planned where we'd be, we would take the routes we wanted. Using a platform like Zoom would allow you to share your screen so you can see everything at the same time.

An additional aspect I included that made us laugh a lot and was actually really fun(ny) was the 3 Word Story Game. Essentially, you create a story together 3 words at a time, which was sort of the story of what the trip came to be.

On the plane ride back

We listened to some inspirational TED talks:

As a souvenir

A commemorative photo.

And that is how you go to Hawaii without actually going to Hawaii.

built a house

First, we found a plot of land on an online real-estate listing website to build our new home together. We then had to agree on the style of house we wanted to put on that land, and then on the floorplan, which was a lot trickier than I anticipated. Once we decided on that, we used this website to construct it (although there’s plenty of 3D websites to choose from – you could even furnish and design the inside)! It honestly took us so long to research house styles and floorplans that we barely made it to the constructing part — it's still in the works.

Play the Wikipedia game

Matt had a really fun game where you each pick a noun without telling each other. Decide on who will be the start word and who will be the finish word. When you're both ready, tell each other the words, and then, using only Wikipedia, try to find a path to link the two words.

For example:

If your start word was "peach", and the end word was "Tennessee" you might go Peach > University of California, Davis > University of California > U.S. State > Tennessee

The first person to get from one word to the next wins! Each round is quick so it’s easy to play quite a few (and learn quite a lot!) in a short amount of time.

go to a museum

There are so many museums that are virtual right now! Setting up a tour of one and going through it together by sharing your screen on Zoom or another screen sharing platform would be really easy.

When Matt and I did this in 2017, he sort of brought the museum experience to me. This date night was really sweet to me. I had had a rough day, and I really just wanted to come home, relax, and mostly cry. I don't even remember why. Matt had organized this date night in a way that he could tell me a story and make me feel like I had gone with him on a trip to a local museum. He specifically went to the Springville Museum of Art. He described the museum, showed me pictures of it and then we "went inside."

As he went through each art piece, he told me the background information of the piece and what stood out to him, and we discussed how it was meaningful to us. A lot of the art had a spiritual meaning behind it, and there was one in particular that I really loved and felt such an appreciation for. It was what I needed to see and hear that day.

You could really explore any museum or festival, take pictures, and share it with your significant other. I think the difference Matt made between experiencing something and telling me about it later versus creating an experience and sharing it with me was he had me in mind as he did these things. He went to the museum by himself and took pictures specifically to share with me later.

Learn about another culture

For Chinese New Year, I planned our date to understand what Chinese New Year represented, and why it was after the typical time most cultures celebrate a new year. We researched information through websites about the background, and then learned about what's to come in the Year of the Rooster.

From there, I had us look at each of our own zodiacs (mine is the horse, his is the pig) to see if they were accurate to our present personalities and see what they said about compatibility.

We played a game of Wok Tok (from this website which has other cute Chinese date night ideas) and ended our night with a virtual fortune cookie.

Photo from the Chinese New Year celebration I went to in Nashville.

become a disc jockey

Matt nominated me to be his co-host on our own radio talk show.

Audience: Us.

We went through a top ten countdown with each of us taking turns selecting a song. It included commentary, lip-syncing (my favorite was when Matt busted out on selection #2), and lots of shoulder dancing (since we were sitting down).

Our official top ten countdown was:

10. "Do You Believe In Love" - Huey Lewis and the News

09. "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran

08. "I Got You" - Jack Johnson

07. "God Only Knows" - The Beach Boys

06. "I've Got This Friend" - Civil Wars

05. "Sweet Pea" - Amos Lee

04. "You're The One That I Want" - Grease

03. "My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion

02. "I Want It That Way" - The Backstreet Boys

01. "Better Together" - Jack Johnson

cook together

I actually never ate bologna until I met Matt. Not that he's full of it, but it's cheap and it's pretty good! He was determined to help me know how to make a true bologna sandwich – the right way. He had me get bologna, made sure I had bread and mustard, and told me how to fry bologna.

After we both made it at the same time, we ate together after.

(You could really learn to cook anything together. You could even send the other person the ingredients beforehand if it's not perishable. Or just send some Doordash or Grubhub over.)

Get some dessert together

Our favorite ice cream place in Nashville is Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream. It's even where Matt and I had our first date!

And our favorite ice cream place in Provo is BYU Creamery. So I Venmoed Matt some coinage and we went off to "meet" each other at the ice cream places. We FaceTimed after we got our ice creams and ate together.

To be completely honest, it was slightly strange to be FaceTiming someone in an ice cream place, but it was worth getting out of the house and also... who can say no to ice cream?

go to the theater

This was another date where I tried to do something outside our confined rooms. (This was in 2017 when theaters were open.) We had both been wanting to see "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" so I looked up showtimes at the nearest theater to him, and the nearest theater to me to find a time that would match up with each other. Once I did that, I purchased the tickets online and sent him the verified email.

We both went, talked to each other until we got our seats and the lights went down and then called each other when the movie was over to talk about it. It was kind of fun knowing we were watching something at the exact same time, and it offered a little something different to our regular date nights.

watch a concert together

Matt took me to a Lady Antebellum concert via YouTube! It was great because it's like you get front row seats and all those up-close camera angles, way better than the nosebleed seats. But it really was kind of fun because we could watch and talk about it. You could compose various artists and make your customized concert experience as well.

solving a puzzle together

Although I'm not sure the exact website Matt used to create this, there are plenty to choose from including this one and this one. This is a fun way to show what you know about each other and see if you can guess the right answers!

go back in time: 80's night

Matt loves the 80's. The 1980's to be exact. So I planned a couple date nights around that era.

PART ONE.

For this one, I even mailed him something in advance! Which is really a huge accomplishment to think that far ahead.

Introduction: I had him watch this fun video to test his own '80s knowledge.

Then...

We (almost) made record bowls! To be honest, we didn't actually do this part, and my mini records that I bought from Goodwill for 25 cents are still on the kitchen counter ready to reach their new potential. I missed the part about having a bowl that would be ok to put in the oven — Matt didn't have one. So we skipped this part ready to conquer it in these upcoming days on his return. Instructions here.

While that was going to be heating...

We played (80's) MAD LIBS!!

I couldn't find any pre-made ones so I took some '80s songs and had Matt come up with words. Here's some results (his answers in parenthesis with the actual word next to it):

I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Whitney Houston)

Oh! I wanna (V-run)dance with (N-Tennessee)somebody

I wanna feel the heat with (N-bougeoisie)somebody

Yeah! I wanna (V-jump)dance with (N-banana)somebody

With (N-Tennessee)somebody who loves me

Pour Some Sugar on Me

C'mon, take a (N-tube)bottle, (V-dunk)shake it up

(V-steal)Break the (N-hand)bubble, (V same)break it up
(V-Fall)Pour some (N-lamp)sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon, (N-China)fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm (A-curly)hot, (A purple)sticky (A fast)sweet

From my (N body part-teeth)head to my (body part-nose)feet, yeah

Don't Stop Believin'

Just a (A-blue)small town (N-beetle)girl

Livin' in a (A-straight)lonely world
(N-she)She took the (A-digital)midnight train
Goin' anywhere
Just a (A-wild)city boy
Born and raised in (Place-mountains)South Detroit
He took the (A-right)midnight train
Goin' anywhere

A (profession-lawyer)singer in a (A-dark)smokey room

The smell of (N-donald trump)wine and (A-flat)cheap perfume

For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on, and on, and on

PART TWO

In another 80's themed date night, we played games from the 80's including (my favorite) Ms. Pacman and Frogger using this website. And then I let Matt pick between a couple 80's movies on Netflix and decided on "Can't Buy Me Love". (Movies are always a nice way to end the night it seems because after we've done some activity together, we can relax and watch it.)

Long-distance, and really relationships in general, can be daunting, but it can also be fun! We hope you find some inspiration in these posts to use and adapt them for your own dates.

ON A RELATED NOTE